There is a phrase that carries more weight with me than it should because it was first spoken to me by a person in authority:

No reason.

As in, “There is no reason for the toilet to be stained from not cleaning it”.

This has become the hammer I use to come down hard on myself. No reason. It goes along the same grain as there’s no excuse, it’s not that hard, why can’t I just.

And if you hear me say things like this, even if it seems light-hearted, those are warning lights. These phrases can seem like the words of someone motivated to improve. For me, they are no less than crushing weights.

And when people try to comfort or encourage me that it’s totally possible to do whatever it is that seems to loom above me like a insurmountable obstacle, what I hear is you are weak for feeling like this is hard; you’re a failure.

The truth is, all things are possible in Christ and nothing is possible apart from Him.

Old wounds be what they may, I do know the truth. I’m not really sure how to heal that wound or why it keeps opening up, but I believe that healing is possible and promised in Christ.

This is just me being real, guys. This is what I’ve been thinking about lately.