This morning I was thinking about that phrase that just comes out every so often of the mouths of depressed people: I can’t do anything right.

I was thinking this because I have just been having such a hard time getting up at a reasonable hour lately, and this morning I even got up, took the dog out (Mr Bill!) and went back to bed to sleep till 7am. I’m not even sure I fell asleep, but I guess I must have because the alarm woke up me up.

How do I get from I’m having a lot of trouble getting myself out of bed lately to I can’t do anything right?

These are questions best left for the professionals.

What I did notice this morning is that the phrase is always “right”, never I can’t do anything well or perfectly or good. Why is that? I tried it out. I tried telling myself, “I can’t do anything well.” My mind immediately rejected that; I do plenty of things well. Then I tried, “I can’t do anything perfectly.” I laughed; of course I can’t! I’m not perfect! Nobody’s perfect. Then I tried, “I can’t do anything good.” Hmm. That’s a little closer.

What is it about right that rings so loud in the ears of so many (maybe everyone?) that it causes us to weep, to crumble, to stop trying?

I think I know. Of all the adjectives we could use to describe our actions, right comes closest to describing a fundamental attribute of God. What does “right” mean?

God alone is morally good, justified, and acceptable on His own.

“Right” cuts to the quick; it points to what is wrong with us as humans and why we need grace. It offends us at a level deeper than we are cognizant of. From the days of Adam, we don’t want to be perfect or good; we won’t settle for anything less than right.

Thanks be to God through Christ, we are made “right” — but this is not of ourselves; it is a gift of God (Eph 2:8).

When we tell ourselves, “I can’t do anything right”, what we are saying is a legitimate heart-cry of “I want to be right!” But our error comes from wanting to be right on our own standing; we don’t want mercy; we don’t want a good God to condescend to us and make us right. We are ever toddlers saying, “No! I can do it myself!”

I am so grateful that God describes Himself as a father, because literally any other relationship will not tolerate such rebellion. A friend, a sibling, a coworker would all say, “Okay, do it yourself then,” but a father (or mother) will look down with love and patiently wait for the pitiful and heart-string-pulling “Help” that inevitably follows.

♦

Lord, thank you for being right — consistently, reliably.  You alone are good. There is no one righteous, not one. You alone are worthy. i confess my tendency to seek righteousness by own merits. i confess chasing after comfort and forsaking the Comforter. O Lord i confess my foolishness. Thank You Father for forgiving me, even when i turn away and attempt to reject the very thing i’m asking for. Thank You for Your amazing patience. Thank You for Your love that will follow me down to the depths and give me strength to fly out of the pit. Thank You for Your many, many blessings. Please Father help me to see Your gifts as an extension of Your lovingkindness and to look past the gift and to the Giver. In the worthy name of Jesus, who stands in my place and covers me completely, Amen.