There’s a line in a song I listen to frequently: “Every day I’m changing, becoming more like Christ; adoring what is good, adorned with the fruits of new life.” So many times I do that swallow — you know that swallow, when someone says, “Of course you drive 50mph on Ronald Reagan,” and you aren’t going to volunteer anything otherwise but — gulp. Yeah, that swallow.

Am I becoming more like Christ every day? I feel like it’s almost bragging if I even feel as though this is true. I want to shrug off any notion that I’m becoming “better”, because I feel like that would only make me prideful. But today I am thinking about this season of parenthood, raising young children, and I don’t feel any pride at all in myself when I think — yes. Yes, I am changing every day, becoming more like Christ, adoring what is good, adorned with the fruits of new life. This is all God’s work. And in the heat of sleepless nights and battles over putting away toys, I see that God is doing some serious work in me.

This is a season of giving for Love and me. The more we resist and insist on a “break”, the harder this season will be. The more we work with it, the more rewarding it will be. I can’t afford to sleep in, trying to catch sleep that was never promised to me. I can’t afford to take a night off and watch TV. That’s not griping; that’s the beautiful life that God has given me right now.

I did not understand what it meant when people talked about “seasons” until I had children. I see now. You can’t plant in the fall or harvest in the spring. Rushing and trying to act as though every year or day were the same, getting frustrated because hours are going to nursing that used to go to housework — what sense does that make? God determines the seasons. We need wisdom to know how God wants us to put feet on the gospel in each season.

In this season, I share the gospel in waking up early and and giving of myself to my family without complaint, with great joy. I share the gospel by relying on God for wisdom in how to raise my toddler and strength in caring for my newborn. I share the gospel as I allow my husband to step up and do the housework that I’ve let go, accepting his help humbly. I share the gospel as I take a deep breath and stop the tears long enough to send a text asking for help instead of wallowing. In all of these things, I am saying God is enough, and God is good.

Not that I have already obtained this or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus (Phil 3:12).

It’s time to go start the day with my babies. Pray for me; I need so much grace.